Saturday, July 29, 2017

Did 9-Year-Old 'Pickles' Really Write Trump an Adorably Misspelled Fan Letter? The Mystery's Solved

Note: This article contains coarse language that may offend some readers.
Did a 9-year-old named “Pickles” really write Trump an adorably misspelled fan letter saying he “liked him so much” and asking him “how much monny [sic] do you have?”
Here is the text, with a few misspellings and some corrections for readability:
Dear President Trump (hilarious scribbles):
My name Dylan [white out] but every body calls me Pickle. I'm 9 years old and you are my favrit President. I like you so much I had a birthday about you. My cake was the shap(e) of your hat. How old ar(e) you? How big is the White Ho(u)se? How much monny do you have? I dont (k)now why people dont like you. You seme nice can we be friends? My pitcher is in here so if you see me you can say hi.
Your friend
White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders read the letter aloud at a press conference:
She posted it on Twitter with the line, “We hope to meet you soon!”
The Great Pickles War of 2017 had begun:
It didn't take long before the accusation came out that the letter was fake:
Satirical letters were written:

Shots were fired at Pickles:

A literal war was almost started over Pickles's letter.
Even a retired teacher got into the action:
Pickles defenders jumped into the fray:

Of course, the kid is real.
The Washington Post, obviously in an attempt to win another Pulitzer Prize, tracked down the kid and his mother.
So, we found Pickle. He is real, definitely real. He likes watching baseball and playing on his scooter and Donald Trump.
Let's hear more about this cyber-sleuthing:
It took us a little while. Mostly we typed in endless searches on Facebook — but then what have we spent the past decade doing besides learning how to track down people on Facebook? There he was in a picture, a cute blond with a buzz cut, posing with his brother and a dog.
His mother responded to a Facebook message and then called Thursday night on the phone when she got back from the grocery store. It had been a busy couple of days. She’d gotten a call on her cellphone the day before, while the family was driving home from a Giants game. It was from the White House, telling SueAnn that a letter her son had written was going to be read aloud during a news briefing in about 20 minutes.
Dylan's mother SueAnn isn't very “political,” she told WaPo, but she's a dedicated mother who backs her kid “one-hundred percent.”
So when Pickles asked for “a Donald Trump suit” and “Donald Trump cake” for his birthday, what's a loving mother supposed to do? Say 'no' to Pickles?
Journalists can now return to their very important stories after refusing to believe a letter from a 9-year-old to the president is real. But hey, at least the mystery is solved.